I was born in a conservative middle-class family and brought up in a small town with little exposure to people and knowledge. I’ve had many interests and dreams since childhood but not many I could fulfill. I am thankful to God now for not making me a success in any field. In fact, I am glad that I am silently leading a life of 'the ordinary’. If anybody asks me how I am, my reply would be “in peace” and not “at peace”. Such an achievement is impossible with my efforts, however great they maybe. I am aware of this truth and the Master's greatness behind this truth.
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Of late, I am finding it difficult to socialize, though I am not a social animal (whoever knows me, would know well that I rarely speak in a crowd). I prefer to be in my transparent bubble of protection & peace and not to be disturbed by fake feelings and words. Yet I feel like embracing all with love. Truthfully speaking, I am unable to understand myself.
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After many years, I felt like reading a Tamil book ‘Dhyana Yogam’ (Ramakrishna Mutt publication) again. The book is on Swami Brahmananda. For those who are not aware of the great saint, he was the spiritual son of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, a
childhood friend of Swami Vivekananda & former President of Ramakrishna Mission – to name a few to understand in our terms. Swamiji’s name was Rakhal in his purvashram.
I wish to quote a small incident from the book in my own words….
One day Sri Ramakrishna told Rakhal that he could not see the latter’s face as it was covered with a black veil. He further asked his young spiritual son if he had done anything wrong. Rakhal could not recollect anything even after deep thinking. Again the great Master asked Rakhal if he had spoken any lie, for which Rakhal confided the instance in which he spoke a lie to his friend as a joke. Ramakrishna said, “Do not commit such a mistake again.” He further added that speaking truth at all times is an important aspect of spiritual sadhana.
I realize once again how sensitive a seeker of Truth should be.
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Dear Padmaja,
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely post. This post reveals your honest feelings about yourself and what kind of feelings you have for others. I know that you are a bit reserved but take it from me that whoever, despite your silence, managed to remain close to you in some form or the other are blessed.
Do not get confused about your identity. You are a true spiritual seeker and a seeker comes up with different views of the same situation with the passage of time.
What a thought provoking concluding paragraph have you drafted! When there is a Guru watching and guiding you as though you are a small child, every seeker will be tempted to be flawless. Is it not? I am also longing to be led by a Master's hand to the path which will take me to my destination.